As a Mum, are you always the last to get what you want?

Most mums tend to put everyone else’s needs before their own. Are you one of these mums? Always the last to eat, have a shower or get a moment to yourself? Are things starting to get to you, the kids included?

We all need time to ourselves to unwind and feel sane again and in fact, it’s healthy and beneficial for us and all concerned, if we do. You might not think so but the irony is, our children are better off when we start looking after ourselves and putting out needs first rather than last. The reason being is that we can only give what we have within us to give. If we are exhausted or running on low we simply cannot be giving the best of ourselves to our children or to anyone.

Children also need to see us respecting ourselves. So often, we just drop whatever we are doing to attend to their needs in that moment. This sends them a clear message; they have our attention at the drop of hat and whatever we were doing is less important and can wait. Our selfless ways are not teaching them or empowering them to understand that we are people with needs just like them. Children are at the best of times, very impatient. They want what they want right now. You could be in the middle of eating your lunch or speaking to someone on the phone and they demand your undivided attention. This is the perfect opportunity to start reinforcing to them what’s important to you. Attending to your needs is in no way suggesting you neglect your children and their needs but it is making them aware that you too, are only human.

It’s time to do away with all the excuses on why we feel we can’t put ourselves first. We are just as important as anyone else and we need to start seeing ourselves as women with needs and desires rather than just as mums.

Most of our cars run on fuel. If there is no fuel in the tank, the car simply won’t go. For many of us, our cars are a necessity so as much as we may complain about the cost of filling them up and maintaining them, we still do it. What about looking after ourselves as women? Surely, we are more important than our cars?

Health is wealth. Your children depend on you and need you to be healthy to look after them. Here are a few things to think about:-

(1) When was your last thorough medical checkup?

If it’s been ages, what’s stopping you? Are you worried a checkup may find something you would rather not know about? Is it a cost you would rather not bare? Most of us avoid the doctor’s surgery unless we absolutely need to go there. Instead, think about being pro-active in leading a healthy life and being a healthy being. Remember, knowledge is power.

(2) Are you eating healthy, wholesome foods?

Food is the fuel from which our bodies operate. If we are eating highly processed, artificial foods our bodies are not receiving the nourishment and nutrition needed to function optimally. Literally, we are what we eat and our bodies if deprived of something for long enough, will somehow communicate this to us. We have to listen to our bodies and stop telling ourselves, we’ll be okay. We have to make feeling great about ourselves, a priority!!My friend Karen has some awesome tips on how to transform your eating and live the healthy life you deserve.

(3) Do you drink enough water?

We all need to drink more water and also ensure our children drink plenty of water too. Ideally, it should be the drink of choice rather than having a fridge full of coke or cordial. Drinking water is very beneficial for the body. A few of the benefits are:-

  • It helps remove toxins from our bodies through bowel movements, urine and sweat.
  • We tend to feel better and suffer less from headaches, fatigue, dizziness, dry throats etc.
  • Our skin is more supple and healthier looking.
  • Water is essential for our overall health and particularly the health of our kidneys which are responsible for the removal of waste, the creation of urine and maintaining a balance of water in our bodies.

(4) Are you doing any exercise?

Doing some type of exercise you enjoy on a regular basis, not only makes you feel good about yourself but tends to bring clarity to situations or problems you may be experiencing. This is probably due to the fact, you are oxygenating your entire body when you are exercising which helps every cell within your body function better. When the body is deprived of oxygen, you are more prone to sickness and disease.

(5) Do you get enough good quality sleep?

We all need sleep for our own health and well-being. You know what it’s like when you have no energy, everything is so much harder. The challenges of motherhood can be overwhelming and made worse if you are starting the day tired and drained. Forget about the house, the washing and everything else that needs doing. If you have young children that sleep during the day, have a sleep too. If your children are older and you are tired, rest when you can. It’s about being kind to yourself.

(6) Schedule in time for yourself.

It’s very important we all have some time to ourselves doing something we love to do. This is therapeutic for us mums and goes a long way to improving our relationships. We will notice the difference within us when we give more to ourselves and so will the people around us, including our children. Away with the guilt. It’s time to pave a new way forward; a happier and more fulfilled self.

Wishing you all well and I would love to hear your comments on the subject of putting yourself first.

Best Wishes Always,





As a Mum, are you always the last to get what you want? — 8 Comments

  1. So important for young (and not so young) moms to hear. This also applies if you are in the helping profession as I am. Always put on your own oxygen mask first!!!

  2. As a single mother of a 3 year old and an entrepeneur, I struggle with this everyday. Thanks for the tips and the reminder.

  3. Great post, I know how challenging it can be to form your own company. I began my own 2 years and like this page. Keep up the awesome content and I can’t wait to come back.

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