‘I CAN DO IT!’ is something we rarely say to ourselves or hear someone else say. Most people tend to speak in negatives. It comes naturally for some bizarre reason to say, ‘I can’t.’ The person who says, ‘I can’t do it,’ has no expectations upon themselves in that moment. They are disempowering themselves and almost admitting defeat. The words that we speak are not just meaningless words. They all carry energy. Everything we say and feel shapes our experiences and imprints a patterning within us which is essentially, who we are. If we continually affirm to ourselves they we can’t do something or that we are not good enough or smart enough, those messages are stored within our bodies. When we are faced with the next problem or a difficult situation, the old programming tends to win out time and time again. Our thoughts do become our reality. This is why it is so important to surround our children with positive language and ways of being. Language is very empowering or disempowering depending on how it is used. Our children observe our facial expressions, our body language, the different tones we use and what we say, whether it’s positive or negative. We are their number one role models.
It’s safer for us to limit ourselves rather than extend ourselves and grow. We worry too much about what others may think or the possibility of failure. We fail ourselves though by not believing in ourselves and our potential as human beings. Considering most of the population uses only 10% of their God given potential, how we see ourselves as individuals; our self-image, our beliefs, our fears, our worthiness, our self-confidence and self-esteem and our thoughts and ways of being, either help us or hinder us throughout life. The good thing is, nothing is set in stone. Change is possible if we really want it. We as parents are in the unique position to be able to nurture a healthy sense of self in our children on a daily basis and from a young age through using positive and empowering language. It takes discipline and creativity to speak with relatively few negatives but the more positive we are in our language, the more positive our children will be in their language and their thought processes. It doesn’t help that society tends to attach labels not only to products but to people too. Even in the classroom, a child gets a feeling of whether he or she is considered good at something or not. If we as parents can instil a strong sense of self within our children that they are beautiful and capable beings no matter what anyone else says or thinks, than we are making progress. It’s constant though because their confidence and self-esteem is continually being challenged by the actions and/or words of their peers, teachers, family members and at times even by us as their parents. It’s important that the line of communication between parent and child be one where they feel they are able to talk to us about anything and everything without judgment.
The next time your child says, ‘I can’t do it. It’s too hard,’ this is the time to intervene. Move them away from whatever they were trying to do. Briefly tell them that their thoughts and words are not helping them at all and it’s time to get POSITIVE. Together say the words ‘I CAN DO IT’ over and over again and put some effort into it (maybe punch the air with enthusiasm, sing the words or do star jumps). They may think you’re being really silly but you are actually taking positive action to replace old, negative thoughts and beliefs with new patterning that encourages a good sense of confidence and self-esteem. Repetition is the key and being mindful of our language. When we accomplish something we feel fantastic. We feel a great sense of achievement and we are proud. This feeling puts a smile on our faces and fills us up with happiness. This is what our children are best to feel. A sense of accomplishment rather than feeling lost and defeated by their own words and thoughts or worst still, someone else’s. No one is a victim in this world unless they truly believe they are a victim. It goes back to loving and accepting ourselves for who we truly are as individuals. We all have strengths and weaknesses. If we struggle with things we are not particularly good at, we would be better off adopting and encouraging our children to adopt an ‘I CAN’ attitude before doing whatever it is we find difficult. ‘I CAN’ opens up possibilities. It’s expansive. It’s empowering. It’s encouraging. It’s liberating. It enables us to tackle bigger and more challenging things one step at a time. It promotes personal growth. Once we know ‘WE CAN’ no matter what, success is inevitable.
We would be wise to communicate to our children that no one is perfect and that making mistakes is nothing to be ashamed of. If we learn from our mistakes we enrich our lives. No road travelled is completely smooth. It’s the bumps and the hurdles that cross our paths that bring us to a greater understanding of ourselves and our potential as individuals. However, a healthy sense of self enables us to move forward with less hesitation; our ‘I CAN’ is stronger than our ‘I CAN’T. This is no different for our children. They must believe deep down that they CAN DO something before they CAN and being surrounded by positive people and positive language can only help.
Wishing you all the very best,
PS As usual, I really enjoy your comments or feedback.